I'm ready.

Bringing the FB back.

So Faithful, So true.

Oh Yeshua, this is my prayer. Take my focus off of myself and back onto you, God. The truth of this absolutely crazy love is the truth of who You are. Not me. It is by grace I have been saved. It has everything to do with You, God. The great love of your son Jesus Christ is what frees me, not myself. And the most beautiful thing of it all is that I don’t even have a choice but I still choose You. I choose You, God. 

This song brings me back to Spain.

SOLO TU, PADRE. SOLO TU.

So excited for these Moroccan Woman!

The high demand for Argan Oil is leading to more opportunities for the women of Morocco!

^Click the link above to read more about it and watch a cool video!

I'm 19 Years Old and I just got my first piercings ever. #GrowingUp

I feel so alive!

Ephesians 2:4-5 "But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."

Don't let yourself be stereotyped.

Human nature is what it is. People are going to think of you by who you hang out with and what you associate yourself with. It's sports for me. It's athletics.

But I'm not a jock. I'm not cocky. I'm not stuck up. I'm not conceided. I don't party. I don't drink.

I love the Lord. I love his people. I am missions minded. I am faithful. I am kind. I am encouraging.

That is what I am.

And unless I'm bold. Unless I make an active effort to display myself as the second person, then I will be known for the first. Thank you God for boldness. Thank you for giving me the strength and confidence to rise up when I need to. You are so faithful God. You are so good!

Healer - Jada and Kari

Integrity is Hot.

Thank you, Kelsey Greene!

Perfect lyrics at the perfect time.

"Come and rest in my love"

I don't think people understand what its like to be sick for an extended amount of time. To be sick chronically.

I've been sick for over one and a half years now, just waiting for healing. The doctors said that it could take 5 years for my immune system to kick in and recognize it as a virus. It feels like its been so long and there is so much uncertainty. I'm so emotionally exhausted and so tired and just ready to be healed. The emotional tole that this is taking on me is almost worse than the physical.

But regardless of how much this sucks, I know that God has a reason for this happening. It's hard to live out and truly believe with my whole heart Romans 8:28, especially after experiencing this for so long with no relief. But I'm trusting in God. And I'm praying for healing like never before.

It is so hard not being in control. I guess thats why I've been running so much and so hard. Because I feel like I am in control in that moment even when the world around me is chaotic. Oh Jesus, please heal me. My heart is heavy and I'm anxious for rest.

Proverbs 4:23

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

I can handle any judgements made upon myself by others. I can handle any assumptions. I can handle being stereotyped and classified as something that I'm not and I can handle people assuming that I cuss, and party, and do other things that are looked down upon at this school. I can handle the possibility that Godly men out there may not see me as who I really am is because of who I'm "hanging around". I can handle all of that because I'm around people that need me in their life. I'm in a place most Christians dream of getting to. I'm "in the world", while being accepted and respected by those around me for not being "of it". But the one thing that I cannot let happen is being pulled under myself. I need to be diligent in guarding my heart. I need to make sure that my heart remains pure. I need to make sure that I am lifting them up and not getting pulled down in the process. I'm in a good place. I'm in the middle of where God has called me to be.

I ask that you pray for me. For Jesus to give me strength. To Give me the strength to be bold and strong and courageous and loving and meek and humble and patient and selfless. Jesus was mocked and spit on. People made assumptions about Him because He didn't always do the "religious" thing, and He wasn't always around the most highly and holy of people. So if that is what it means to follow Christ, I will accept that name as my own, just so long as He guards my heart, which is everything. 

First 6am practice tomorrow morning.

So after getting up around 10-11 am every morning this week thanks to having 4 snow days in a row, I'm just really excited to get up at 5:00 am, be out of my room by 5:20 and at the indoor center by 5:50.

Look at how excited we are for this.

Oh and another reason to be excited is that starting this upcoming Monday, we are going to have 4 6am practices every week for the rest of the school year. Monday through Thursday. Yeeeaahhhh ; )

El jugo bonito (The beautiful game)

There isn't much of a need to watch this the whole way through because it's pretty repetitive, but regardless its pretty sweet. I want to play something like this soooo badly. Maybe once the snow melts!

This could very well be one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

Today it snowed a lot, which is pretty rare for Seattle. After sledding down campus in laundry bins and the tops of storage containers, we took a break from the snow and later went back to the soccer fields to play a game of soccer with a group of people. It was a blast and although I'm still freezing and soaked i'm really glad we did it!

Annie-Brynn also had to save the day and drive a friend to work in her 4 wheel drive jeep because the friends car got stuck in the snow. As you can see it was a good 4-5 inches! Good job Annie-Brynn!!

1 Peter 3:15 - "In your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect."

I could seriously watch documentaries all day every day.

There is so much to learn and so much to be talked about that rarely gets brought up in casual conversation.

so good.

Beauty is Pain

 Beauty is pain, and although that saying if for a completely different context than what I am about to talk about, I figured it appropriate since this week has been one of the most beautiful weeks of my life and at the same time one of the most painful.

A person whom I love dearly really hurt me this week and that situation required me to drop down my own pride and apologize for the wellbeing of the relationship. I'm still hurt about the way in which this information was presented so publicly, but like I said, learning to drop your own pride and apologize even when you are still hurt too is never a bad thing to practice. Plus, it is bringing me to a place of being more confident in who Christ has made me to be. I'm not always going to please man, but for the sake of following Christ, it's a feeling that I'm going to have to get used to.

And all at the same time through that brokenness and pain God has picked me up and showed me life. He has given me so many opportunities to be a good friend to those around me and has revealed to me ways in which I can be more selfless and in tune with the needs of people he has placed in my life. A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and I've made more of an active effort than I would have before to do kind things for her and just be around her when she needs someone. God has given me so many opportunities this week to lower my pride, be there for someone who needs me, and be selfless and giving of things that God has blessed me with.

And only 30 minutes ago I walked back to my room after playing some FIFA, and a teammate of mine just randomly said to me, "Rachel, you're a good friend." That was it. Nothing more. It was so simple and it was just the encouragement that I needed.

The world and my own insecurities put a lot of doubt in my life this week and I fought through it, trusting in God's faithfulness and goodness. He has promised us that when he starts a good work in us, he will not finish it until the return of Christ Jesus. That is the truth I had to rely on so much this week. I truly believe that God prompted my friend to say that to me. I needed that and although I'm so thankful for her gift of encouragement, I'm even more thankful for my God, because my God is a god who provides. Jesus, my soul sings how I love you. Thank you for being such a good and faithful God. Te amo mucho, mi amor. Te amo mucho.

From the beggar to the king, from the famous to the faceless, everybody needs love.

My trust room.

I remember my first day in that room. I remember holding back an ocean of tears until I got into that room to fall asleep. I cried as quietly as I could because I didn't want anyone to hear me and try to console me. I remember asking myself "What on earth did I just do". I remember being so homesick. I remember experiencing loneliness and a feeling of isolation like I'd never experienced before. I remember it taking just a week or so to fall in love with Spain and the family that I lived with.

I remember playing soccer outside with the locals, and seeing all of the young boys drop their jaws when they saw that I was just as good as them and schooled them just as much as they schooled me. Girls don't really play soccer in Spain. A couple of their faces I will never forget.

 I remember shaking in my bed with fear in that very room while I was asking God for guidance on if I should travel to Northern Africa during the Arab Uprising. I remember Him telling me yes and me being scared to death. I remember writing in my journal all of the bad things which I knew could happen to me as if it would prepare me from any of it, and I remember God telling me, "I will never leave you or forsake you. Be courageous and go." I am still experiencing how that room brought a change in me.

It was a room in which I learned how to trust. To trust a man who came down to earth and laid his life down for me. To trust a God who is mighty, and steadfast, and holy. To trust a love that continues to bring a change in me. I know God is for me. I know that nothing can stand in my way when His hand is guiding me and I know from experience and specific examples that He never leaves us nor forsakes us.

It is weird to think that for two and a half months I slept in that room, and was changed for the better because of how much I lived by faith and not by sight. I miss Spain. I hope that someday I will be able to go back.

I have one of the strongest friends ever.

She is my teammate, my friend, and my sister in Christ. After getting too many concussions, the doctors told her that she could no longer play soccer. She is still having side effects and can't raise her heart rate up too high or else she will get headaches and her memory is not 100% back either. It has been over 3 months and she has now been informed that she will most likely never be able to play soccer or any other contact sport for the rest of her life.

Another friend on my soccer team put it best. She can see the rainbow in them middle of the storm. She has never asked for a pity party and even though it absolutely crushed her, she decided to see what else God had for her other than soccer. She continued to come to soccer practices and games to cheer us on even though it brought back a lot of pain and sadness. Going to those things reminded her that she would never be able to play again and yet she was a teammate, a true teammate, before she even considered the pain that it brought onto herself. Soccer has been her life for so long and she had every right to be sad about it and let the heartbreak take over her life, but she didn't.

I really don't know if I would have handled everything the way that she did. With the same amount of strength of character and faith in things to come. She is so courageous. And it has nothing to do with a difference of passion or love for the game. She loves soccer just as much as I do, but she is so positive and strong. I'm so proud of you Brielle Nicholas! In more than one way. You are such a role model to me. Thank you for being a friend to me, a true teammate even when it's hard, and being such a strong woman of faith in my life. I love you!

Desert Song by Hillsong United

"This is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides."

Scooterin' Up the Town

Today I power cleaned my room and got rid of a lot of old clothes and other things!

After that my brother, dad and myself watched an episode of "Lie To Me" on Netflix and I went to my friend Scotts house to hang out with him, his sister Brooke, and my friend Alan. After dinner we decided to go to downtown Boise and ride some scooters around. I'm talking about the Razr's that elementary kids ride around on. It was pretty hillarious and a bunch of fun. We went up a parking garage to the very top and rode all of the way down. But before getting to the very bottom a security man asked us to leave, which we politely accepted to oblige to. After that we decided to hit up the skate park below the connector in downtown Boise to get shown up by a bunch of people on skateboards and roller-skates who actually knew what they were doing with the huge ramps and pipes.

Here are a couple of pictures from tonight. My friend Scott will be going on his 2 year mission in April so this might have been the last time that I will see him before he leaves. He is going to Taiwan and will be speaking Mandarin Chinese! I plan on writing him letters while he is gone since that will really be the only way to communicate for the 2 years that he is gone.

This was the view from the top of the parking garage that we "scootered" down.

The man who took this picture was extremely funny and nice. It was also his birthday!

To be Known is to be Loved and to be Loved is to be Known by Joy Laub

This is one of my all time favorite poems and I just found it as I was organizing my room. I stumbled across my Poetry Shirt that was one of the big projects for my Junior Year. We sharpied on all of our favorite poems and all of us shared one poem in front of our classmates. This is the one that I read out loud to my class at my non-christian High School.

To be Known is to be Loved and to be Loved is to be Known 
by/: Joy Laub


YOU
Know me.
You know my hurts and my fears.
You know my doubts and all of the things I hear when I let the wrong voice whisper in my ear.

YOU
Know me.
You see my passions and my desires, for You yourself set that fire that burns inside me, the fire that consumes my heart,
and while consuming
starts and stops and restarts all of the things that I thought I was. You recreate me. From the beginning.

I am wretched, but you see me as art.
You see me as yours, and I want to be the one
who sees You as mine, who understands that I was designed
FOR YOU
that I was made to bring You glory, that I am loved by a love so deep, that I was made for You and that You died
for me.

You know me. You know every inch of my body and every thought in my mind. You reach out and touch my face, and just by your touch, I am set free.

I once
was blind
but now I
see.
YOU.
know me.

You know every scar and every bruise and you know the reason behind each one. But you don't stop to judge me. Instead you feel it with me.
You feel it for me. Every bend in my path, every drop of His wrath, You took it upon You on that tree.

And it's taken me
So long to see
Why you would ever do that for me.
...because to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.
and the whole point of this thing called life is this thing called love: that I might be known by You and that You might be known by me.

It's Gone!

I finally went through with it. After two straight hours of copying all of the birthdays that are on file for my friends on facebook and getting all of the pictures that I would like to look at later onto my computer, I deactivated it!

It feels good to now feel like I can focus more fully on being a better friend to my best friends but it is going to be strange not having a way to talk to the more "acquaintance" type people in my life. So much information is told through facebook and I know that  I am going to miss out on a lot, but I'll be back soon enough.

 Until then, I am excited to start back up from the basics of friendship. I'm planning on writing more letters, calling more, sending more texts of encouragement and being more present in the here and now.

I hope that whoever you are, whoever you are that is reading this, is having a wonderful day and you feel extremely blessed with who is in your life and what God has given you.

Birthday 2011

Aunt Jill, Cam, and Kell all came over to celebrate my birthday with me. And when homemade Polish Pierogies are for dinner, who in their right mind would miss it?! : )

My Dinosaur Cake, yes it was for my 19th birthday.

Today I'm 19!! December 31, 2011 and I have a Dinosaur Cake!  : )

January 1, 2012

It's the first day of the year. I decided to deactivate my facebook account and get a blog instead. For thousands of years people have encountered intimate relationships and close friendships without facebook even when distance was in the equation. I know it's possible but it's going to take work and I'm ready for that. It should be normal for peoples hearts to ache and desire to talk to a dear friend of theirs because they want to know what is going on in his or her life. But because of how readily information is given on facebook to anyone of the 700 friends someone may have, that aching in my life has been diminished. I don't call friends because I already know. I don't text them because they just told me. And I don't write them because its just as easy to send them a message. I'm not doing this to make any one feel guilty for being on facebook, this is just what I need to do to be free from my own hypocracy and become a better friend. My intentions must be pure in my relationship with God and I want to be so in love with Him and thankful for Him in my life that it just pours out from me in constant prayer and the things that I say daily. Posting it on facebook is an encouragement to others, but it can't be about how many "likes" I get. I only need one being to like it and that is God. I've been burdened by the opinions and acceptance of others and I don't want that anymore. I need to free myself from the desire to be accepted and honored by others before it begins to define me. I really want to be more than okay with the approval of God. No one else needs to see. No one needs to know except for God. Because this life...well.... it's all for God.